I was the American Fat Kid
by Lil Cosmo
Summary: Hoagie tells his son about the Kids Next Door. Couples and lots of flashbacks.
1. Default Chapter

**AN: Don't own Kids Next Door and if I did, it would probably no longer have people watching it.**

"Alright, guys, I got something to say!" 18 year old Wallabee Beatles stood up from the dinner table at Hoagie's house.

The four people turned their attention to the Aussie.

"Well, um, you guys have been the best to me. We've been friends for, well, forever practically. Well, we've gone a long way from the ten year olds hanging out at Nigel's treehouse, or from the teenagers struggling through high school. And some of us are more than friends now," He glanced from Nigel and Abby to Kuki and grinned. "And well," He approached the japenese girl and went down on one knee, while pulling the jewelry box out of his jeans pocket. "I was thinking, well, if you don't have something better to do, or someone better to be with, I was wondering if you, um, wanted to marry me." He finished, staring up at Kuki.

Kuki stared in awe at the diamond ring and processed what he said. "Marry you . . ." she drifted off. She answered with a long, passionate kiss.

"I guess that's a yes," he said softly.

The other 3 grinned at one another. Finally, after crushing on eachother for eight years they were together.

"I also have something to say, but it's not as exciting as Wally's announcement." Abby cleared her throat. "I 've been accepted to Harvard."

"That's great!" Nigel exclaimed. "But its really not a surprise. You're smart enough to get into any college."

"Isn't that where your dad went?" Kuki asked while admiring her new ring.

"Yes."

Hoagie asked, "What are you going to be?"

"A doctor. Pediatrician."

"Well, I'm going to college too, but not somewhere cool like Harvard." Hoagie added. "I'm going to Purdue."

The four looked at him strangely.

"Its in Indiana." He explained. "I'm going to be a pilot."

Nigel smiled. "Well, I beat all of you. I'm going to be president."

The four gawked at him.

"I'm kidding! Really, I'm not going to college."

"Don't tell me you weren't accepted. I saw all those forms you sent out." Abby pointed out.

"Oh, I was accepted. I'm just not going."

"Why not?" she asked.

He shrugged. "College isn't the only thing out there, you know."

"Oh right. You can go work at Dunkin Donuts." Abby said sarcastically.

"Would you get off my back?" He said crossly. "God, I get enough of this from my mom." Nigel changed the subject. "Well Kuki, you may be Wally's fiance, but what are you going to do for college?"

She shrugged. "I dunno. I applied to colleges but . . ." She trailed off.

"You weren't accepted?" Wally asked quietly.

Tears spilled from her eyes. "No." She whispered.

Wally tryed to cheer her up. "Hey if it makes you feel any better, I ain't going to college."

"You weren't accepted either?"

"No, I skipped a step. I didn't apply. What college would take me?" He asked. "Ha, I'm so dumb I'd probably fail a blood test."

"You're not dumb." Kuki dried her eyes.

"Its alright, who wants to hang out with a bunch of geniuses all day, no offense guys," He turned back to Kuki. "I have plans for my future." He paused dramatically. "I'm joining the army."

Kuki gasped. "You can't!"

He shrugged. "Like I said, I ain't gonna get into a college. The army is the only choice I have, unless I want to stay here," the way he said it made it obvious that staying in this town was no option.

"But I'm not going to college! And Nigel isn't going to college. We aren't running off to join the military."

"Nothing bad is going to happen to me. I'm not gonna be sent out to war or anything so there is nothing to worry about. Then when I get out of the army, we can get married."

"No." She said stubbornly.

Wally's face dropped. "N-no? Y-you don't want t-to g-get married now?"

"Yes I want to get married. Before you leave." She kissed him again.

**AN: Okay, this chapter was long and, um, yeah pointless. Oh well. Like it? Hate it? Let me know please.**


	2. flashbacks

**AN: I know the last chapter was rushed. My bad. Sorry. I'll try to make this one better. Oh and also, this fic jumps around from different times in the KND's lifetimes. This one is farther in the future than the last chapter. Oh, and italics show flashbacks.**

"Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Look what I found!" The energetic ten year old thrust the large book into his father's hands.

Hoagie chuckled to himself. "Let's see what we got here." He opened the book, showing the pictures. It was a photo album.

"Oh way cool! Just like in that movie I saw with mom, um, what was it called?" The easily distracted child was lost in a train of thought.

"It's just an old photo album."

"Who, who's that? Tell me! Please? Who's that!" The boy was practically jumping up and down.

His father smiled at the picture. "These were my friends when I was a kid. See the bald one? That's Nigel."

"Really? That's Mr. Uno? Way cool! He looks weird without hair, though." The boy made a face.

Hoagie laughed. "And that girl next to him? That's Abby."

"Oh wow, she looks just like her daughter now."

"I know." He turned the page. "Those two were . . ."

"I know who that is! That's Kuki!" He pointed. "Who's the blonde one?"

Hoagie looked at it and was filled with sadness. "That was Wally."

"No, I'M Wally. Who's that?"

"He was named Wally, too. In fact, you were named after him."

"Well if I was named after him, then how comes I don't know him?"

"It's a long story . . ."

"Cool, does it involve flashbacks?"

"Actually yes."

"Yay! Flashbacks rule!"

Hoagie turned the page. "This is from the day we first met. . ."

_Wally scowled at the new neighborhood. This sucked. He had had a life in Australia, but was that good enough? No. He had to be dragged off to this dump._

_Stupid California._

_Stupid house._

_Stupid treehouse._

_Wait a second. Treehouse?_

"_That's so dumb! There's a tree growing through someone's roof." He kicked a rock away from him._

"_Hi!" Hoagie approached the lone kid. "You must be new, right? Oh yeah, duh! Of course you're new! There's a moving van and everything!" He smacked himself on the head. "Well anyhoo, I'm Hoagie!" He extended his hand._

_Wally reluctantly shook his hand. "I'm Wallabee."_

"_Nice to meet you, Walla . . ."  
_

"_Call me that and die." He growled._

_Hoagie stared at the child in slight fear. "Um, okay then. What do I call you?"_

_Wally thought about it. "Um, nothing."_

"_Nothing?"_

"_Just call me . . ."_

"Oh, I know! How about Wally?"

"_Um, okay. Anything's better than Wallabee, I guess."_

"_Oh hold on a second! Isn't Wallabee the name of an animal?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_Oh, and doesn't it look like a Kangaroo?"_

_He nodded glumly._

"_Oh wow. So you're like a walking, talking Kangaroo! You have got to meet Kuki!" Hoagie half dragged the boy to a neighboring house._

"Hold on, dad! I'm named after a stinkin' animal?" the boy shrieked. "Aw man, why didn't you tell me!"

_Hoagie hammered on the door. "Kuki, you got to meet this guy!" He exclaimed when she answered the door._

"_Oh, okay then!" The japenese girl seemed to float outdoors._

"_Okay then. Wally, this is Kuki. Kuki, this is Wally."_

_She eyed the boy suspiciously. "Are you a door to door salesman or something? Because my dad warned me about people like you."_

_Wally didn't know what to think of this girl. She seemed pretty and all, but she also seemed slightly crazy._

_Hoagie laughed. "No he's not. His real name is. . ." He whispered the name to Kuki and the type of animal it was._

"_Are you for real?" She squealed. "Ooh, you're so lucky to be named after such a cute animal."_

_Wally gaped at the girl._

"_Kuki collects stuffed animals," Hoagie added._

"_Come see my collection. You'll love it!" Kuki dragged the boy into her room which was completely filled with stuffed animals. She held up one that resembled a monkey._

"_Um, is that a stoned monkey?" Wally asked._

"_Huh?" She had no clue what he was talking about._

"_Never mind."_

"_It's a Rainbow Monkey. They're in Japan now, but they're coming to America soon!" She hugged the animal tightly._

'_Oh my God. This neighborhood is full of escaped insane asylum patients.' He thought to himself._

**AN: Well, more to come later. I got to go now.**

**Peace.**


	3. Meeting Nigel and Abby

**AN: The question people are asking is:**

**Did Wally die?**

**Well, y'all are gonna have to read to find out, huh.**

**PS: Little Wally is Hoagie's son, if ya didn't know.**

"Okay dad, then what happened?" Little Wally was practically shreaking with anticipation.

Hoagie continued his story.

_Hoagie looked at the new kid and saw the look of disgust etched on his face._

"_They're cute, huh!" Kuki asked._

"_Depends on what you call cute." He grumbled._

_Hoagie cut him off before he said something rude. "Have you seen Nigel or Abby, Kuki?"_

"_Nope. They're probably at his treehouse. Oh, Wallabee have you seen the treehouse yet?"_

_He grimaced at the name. "You mean the gay one that's growing straight out of the rood of that house?"_

_She looked at him cluelessly. "What's 'gay'?"_

_The blond boy rolled his eyes. "Never mind. Yeah, I saw it."_

"_Isn't it the neatest thing?"_

_He looked at her, shocked. Had he not just called it 'gay'? Obviously, he didn't think it was neat._

"_Wait til you see the inside. Its so cool." Hoagie added._

_With that, the two dragged him to Nigel's house._

"Dad, how could a treehouse come straight out of the roof of a house? Isn't that, like, impossible?" Little Wally asked.

"Well, impossible is just a word, after all. Who's to say what's possible and what's not?"

His son gave him a weird look. "Whatever, dad."

_The three entered the house without knocking and headed up the stairs._

_They entered the tree house and Wally looked around in awe._

"_What do you want?" A British accented voice shouted, obviously believing it to be intruders._

"_Nigel, it's us!" Kuki called out. "Hoagie, me, and a new kid."_

"_New kid?" Abigail Lincoln came out of a separate room and eyed Wally suspiciously._

"_This is Wally," Hoagie introduced. "He moved into Mrs. Parker's old place."_

"_Finally, the old bat is gone," Abby looked relieved. "She was always trying to get with my dad."_

"_Did your mom get mad at her?" Wally asked._

_Abby glared at him. "My mom's dead."_

"_Oh," was all he said. He sounded apologetic._

_Nigel entered. "What about a new kid?" he said before he saw Wally._

_Kuki gestured to Wally. "This is Wally. Wally, this is Nigel."_

"_How old are you?" Nigel asked suspiciously._

"_Eight."_

_He looked slightly relieved. "You're our age then. You're in third grade?"_

_He nodded._

"_Have you ever heard of the Kids Next Door?"_


End file.
